When it comes to Halloween and autism….whew, there is a lot of advice out there.
And have you noticed a lot of it is really intense? Like almost intimidating.
A lot of it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong as a parent.
Blue buckets. Signs. Saying trick-or-treat. Everyone should get candy. Do this. Not that.
What I find the most interesting about all the preachy advice is that the ones giving it aren’t walking with our family on Halloween.
They don’t know what works for us and what doesn’t. Or how my son wants to trick or treat so badly. But it’s hard for him.
His anxiety shows up sometimes and steals his joy. He also doesn’t like the cold. Or the dark. Or itchy costumes. Or candy. But good golly he tries so hard.
See, he loves people. And his siblings. And maybe sneaking through a neighbor’s open door and grabbing a box of Lucky Charms.
So here is what I will say.
DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY. FOR YOUR CHILD. AND THAT ALONE.
Yes, I yelled there. But in a super loving way. Because so often expectations play in and as moms and dads we have to remember that we have kids who do things a bit differently sometimes. And their success can happen if we just make a few tiny (or big) accommodations.
Do what works for your kid.
We trick or treat at 3 in the afternoon on Halloween day. Or even the day before.
Cooper doesn’t like the dark. Or the cold. Or surprises.
So I plan a week a head of time where we are going to go. Typically our friend’s houses.
They knew we are coming. They know the exact time. They are ready. They have treats Coop’s likes.
We make a schedule and prepare him. We plan. We move mountains. We have patience.
He doesn’t always wear a costume. But he tries.
We go at our own pace and quit while we are ahead. Some years that’s one house. One year we didn’t make it past the driveway.
And when he’s done we are done. And he stays back while the other kids go out at night.
Do what works for your kid. It sounds so simple. But so often we let the world tell us what we should be doing. And well, that simply won’t work.
Holidays come with pressure. Try to relieve that pressure moms and dads. And simply do what works for your kid.
It quite possibly could be sitting on the couch under a blanket while grandma hands out candy.
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